A s my health improves and I feel more secure with my baby care skills, we begin to venture out. We meet my sister Charlotte, who looks so relaxed and confident out here in public.

I can't even imagine feeling that way again, but I try to let it rub off on me. We sit and I breastfeed to settle you. Thankfully, you attach easily, barely allowing a glimpse, restoring my modesty with your little head, looking like you're sleeping in my arms.
I can block out the world and find my centre again.

"This is the financially irresponsible option. For me, the bravest and riskiest option."

This production is made by me, Sophie Harper, in partnership with Wondery! I'm supported by generous listeners and the Australian Cultural Fund.
Thanks to my family, my friends, my daughter, and to Dan Lizette, Lea Thau, Jon Cohen, Michelle Webster, Cathy Gray, Kate Montague, Koren Helbig, Hernan Lopez, and to listeners and friends who believe in what I'm doing and have encouraged and supported me to keep doing it.

My new network Wondery would like to know more about you, so it would be great if you could fill in a quick survey at wondery.com/survey.
Thank you for the iTunes reviews and for the messages, and donations! I feel very blessed.

Granny's (Diana Lampe's) poppy seed cake recipe for Astrid: http://www.goodfood.com.au/recipes/pearfect-20130408-2hgtd
Clips: ABC Double J with Myf Warhurst and Ian Walker; The Podcast Digest (episode 95) with Dan Lizette; SRSLY podcast, New Statesman #43 with Caroline Crampton and Anna Leszkiewicz; Strangers with Lea Thau (Not By Accident episode); SBS TV The Feed: Sperm Tourism.
Music by permission from the artist: I'm Going to Die by Versus Shade Collapse.
Music from freemusicarchive.org - CC NC License: Candlepower by Chris Zabriskie; Happy Together by Dexter Britain; A Year and The Great by Broke For Free.
Ad music from freemusicarchive.org - CC Commercial License: Drop of Water in the Ocean by Broke For Free.

Support the series by going to http://www.hellofresh.com and enter the promo code 'noaccident' to save $35! (US only)
I'll be back in two weeks to tell you about the gentle and happy routines of early motherhood.