
NOT BY ACCIDENT EPISODES

TEASER
NOT BY ACCIDENT
The two minute teaser for this series about become a single mother by choice, not by accident.

EPISODE 1
INSEMINATION STORY
One morning in May 2012, I sleepily peed on an ovulations test stick, and was catapulted into action when the result showed as positive!
Today was the day!

EPISODE 2
YOUR GRANDPARENTS
The courage to do this didn't come from nowhere. I want to take you back to start unravelling some of the events that led to this point.

EPISODE 3
DONOR DELIBERATIONS
Why did it even occur to my mother to plant the idea of an unconventional family in my head?

EPISODE 4
MY LOVE LIFE
After I came out, I ventured out into the Sydney lesbian scene. I felt like a 30 year old teenager. It was exciting, terrifying, and it was just the beginning.

EPISODE 5
TRAVELS THROUGH THE FIRST TRIMESTER
I pack my wheelie suitcase and load my kindle with essential holiday reading: What to Expect When You're Expecting; Choosing Single Motherhood; and of course: My Miserable Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy.

EPISODE 6
SEVENTEEN CALLS
On Friday it's the first scan. Now I don't have to imagine, I can see you! It's time to share my news. I spend the weekend on the phone. 9 hours, 17 calls.

EPISODE 7
DINOSAURS AND PANCAKES
I am working as hard as ever, determined to prove that I can pull my weight. I’m overcompensating for being pregnant.

EPISODE 8
LEAVING AND ARRIVING
It’s so hard to say goodbye. I don’t know if I’m coming back and so much of my heart is here. But I cannot wait to go home.

EPISODE 9
THIS STRANGE PERIOD
During this strange time, three of us are in hospital within weeks of each other.

EPISODE 11
FIRST HOURS, FIRST DAYS
I'm afraid to fall asleep like this, terrified that I'll suffocate you, but I do drift off, and when I wake you're still safe.

EPISODE 13
THE IRRESPONSIBLE OPTION
This is the financially irresponsible option. For me, the bravest and riskiest option.

EPISODE 14
LONG DAYS, SHORT MONTHS
We’re staying at Granny’s this week. She fell and fractured her kneecap.

EPISODE 15
COUNTING DOWN
I can’t believe I’m taking you away from all of this before your first birthday.

EPISODE 16
THE EMAILS
A sense of loss, a sense of anticipation and anxiety, a reminder of and reliance on great friendships, and a wonderful holiday.

EPISODE 17
TOMORROW MORNING
Acts of kindness and generosity have come without judgement, even though I’m judging myself, feeling I should be able to do it all.

EPISODE 18
FIRST DAY BACK
I still don’t know if I can do this. I start work tomorrow, after a whole year off, with sleep deprivation still effecting my memory and my ability to cope, with my emotions always close to the surface.

EPISODE 19
TURNING ONE
The shock of being back at work is becoming routine. Even the pre-sunrise race to childcare. I feel sorry for myself, and can't quite believe I made life choices that led us to this...

EPISODE 20
THE TUNNEL
It’s a year since I started making this podcast. 20 episodes. I haven’t wanted to let anyone down so I haven’t allowed myself to take a real break, and making this podcast, all alone, is hard. It’s hard work, and it’s emotionally hard.

SEASON 2
TEASER
In season two, we’ll make our way through four years, from one to five, across continents, cultures, careers, seasons, struggles, successes.

EPISODE 21
MY BROTHER'S WEDDING
He proposed, and she said yes. I’m happy for them, of course, really happy. Nick has found the person he wants to share the rest of his life with!

EPISODE 22
LESSONS FROM ZORBA
We’re living through the worst sleepless nights of the ear infection. I can barely get it together to brush my teeth, let alone to take real responsibility. I want to dig deep...

EPISODE 24
HEALTH
I get the feared call from pre-school on the last day of term. You’ve hit your head, badly.

EPISODE 25
FARVEL
It’s Spring, 2015. Half your life ago. My six years teaching at the European Film College begin the limp to an anti-climactic end.

EPISODE 26
EQUALITY
It’s September 2017. I’ve been feeling recently that it’s important for you understand more of who I am.

EPISODE 27
FLYING FISH
We’ve just moved back to Australia from Denmark and it’s strange. I’ve hardly told anyone we’re coming. Only the family.

EPISODE 28
CONSOLIDATION
We’re trying to make a home, but I have things to sort out. The detritus of my life is in storage units and suburban garages.

EPISODE 30
GOING PUBLIC
I pick a date. I announce the series. Now I can’t back out. This is happening.

EPISODE 31
TAKING OFF
It's May 2016. The podcast is taking off. Astrid's new cousin is due next month!

EPISODE 32
AND THE WORLD IS!
We’re watching Mimi’s bridal waltz, lit by the sunset’s golden glow in a retro-opulent ballroom, filled with love. I can’t quite believe we’re here.

EPISODE 33
ENOUGH
I never thought it was ideal being a two person family. There’s not someone for you to turn to when I let you down. It’s a lot of pressure, for both of us, forever I suppose.

EPISODE 34
SPRINGTIME
I’ve said most of what I wanted to say in our podcast. I’ve spent three years making 34 episodes. You’re an autonomous person now. It’s time to let you be the custodian of your own story.